I want it that way!!

You are my fire 

The one desire

Believe when I say

I want it that way...

Do you remember these lyrics from the Backstreet Boys song, 'I want it that way'?
I was scrolling through the old songs and all of a sudden I came across the album 'Backstreet Boys'
And then while going through their songs I came across this one...

I still remember very vividly, that I fell in love with this song the moment I listened to it... It was love at first sight or first hearing  

I couldn't comprehend it then, how old was I? Nine or ten!?
I don't remember exactly, all I know when that tune used to play I used to get those goose bumps... ting-ti-ting-ti-tidi-ding-ding...
Ah! It was mesmerising...

They used to play it on MTV only, and that channel was a taboo in our society, so I hadn't had a constant access to the song back then, I would change the channel while watching something on TV during they play commercials and would stroll by MTV just to check whether they are playing it or not... Those days!! 

Then we bought our new computer, there was this parody song of 'I want it that way', in one of the flash players... I knew the lyrics were distorted and it was not the same song but I still would play it in full volume and my sisters would all go like, ''there's another bout of B boy's attack''

I had no idea of what the lyrics meant and it was a mysterious song to me, I tried asking people, but no one could explain properly. Internet was not that trending thing back then and if you had a doubt about something you couldn't just pick your phone up and google it...
Then with the advent of internet I had access to the song, I downloaded it later and then played it for like zillion times... I tried looking up for the lyrics and found them, but my immaturity hindered me from understanding the deeper meaning of that song, anyway I just played and played it... Until I got over it and it stayed in one of the corners of D Drive of our computer...

Today while I played this song again I had all those goose bumps back... It was like opening an old email from past which has attachments with it, the song opened up like an old email, and I got the access to those memories attached to the song...

It made me go back to 90's when I was young (I'm still , I was younger back then!) I got reminded of my house in Sarni!! all those memories I had built there, I used to listen to this song while playing 'scientists-scientists' in my garden and then when I was entering my teenage, I used to listen to it while focusing on my targets in studies and I somehow used to connect with it while I was having my first crushes around the place... The thrill I used to get whenever I listened to this song, was amazing, something that I cannot explain...

When I did listen to this song today! I rushed back through the Memory Lane in past and realised I always somehow associated with the lyrics though never understood them...

But we are two worlds apart

Can't reach to your heart

When you say

I want it that way

Tell me why

Ain't nothing but a heartache 

Tell me why

Ain't nothing but a mistake 

Tell me why

I never wanna hear you say

I want it that way

I would smile with motivation sometimes and I would cry with sadness listening to this song but I had no notion what it really wanted to convey... Now I do!!
After all these years I realised it's my mood that this song depicts... My aim, ambition and future...
It's about what I aspire to become, about people, friends, family and my infatuations that I've come across, how I was connected to them then and how we've fallen apart sometimes, how I wanted everything "that way" then,
"my way"

Now I can see that we've fallen apart 

From the way that it used to be yeah

No matter the distance 

I want you to know 

That deep down inside of me...

How simple it was... All these years I've been living it, romanticising the song and never realised 

I'm surely going to listen to it for another zillion times and "I want it that way now"!!

https://youtu.be/4fndeDfaWCg