Happy anniversary!!!

People of our clan do not want to have any association with the numbers 3 or 13...
I don't know the reason... but they will never serve you 3 chapatis, never 3 pieces of laddus(sweet) they'll make it 4 or reduce it to 2, they avoid house no. 13 and never a 13 no. room would be there in their  planned holiday trips... The point is without any known reason people have been hating 3ees and 13eens in their lives... Why???

I LOVE THEM!!!
And you know why? Because those are really close numbers to my life...:)... we are 3 sisters.. Me my elder sister Farah Khan and my younger sister Saobiya Khan, I never had a thought about making it 4 or reducing us to 2...:P

And I've got this beautiful home of mine, addressed B-13... I love it...

Last but not the least its the date 13th of Oct 1982... The Golden Date when my parents got married... The very first day of starting of our family... The very cause of our existence (mine n my sis's)

Mummy and papa (then)

 -Mummy and papa-

My Father used to be a simple boy from a village who had talent and dreams and my mother a shy innocent girl who was unaware of the world beyond Benaras (not that she had never been anywhere else it was just she never explored).
Mummy was a girl from city and papa was a boy from village... Mummy had a little bit of expectations which she knew would not be appreciated by papa and papa knowing the fact that mummy is from city, she has got some needs of her own... they compromised a bit on their selves... and here it is... a perfect pair of them...
Mummy whines about papa not being attentive many times and papa do ignore her many times but in making a household work, both of them contributed equally... and I am satisfied by that effort of them....

 Mummy and Papa (now)

Yes Today is the day when my parents got married 30 years back. It was simple arranged marriage... But the love evolved was sweeter than I found in any...:) I am proud of you mummy and papa...
You guys are the first teachers of ours and what I've learnt about relationships is from you both...

"We all Five" (then)

"We all Five" (now)

So I am gonna wish them "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY"
and I am gonna say...."I LOVE 3ees & 13eens!!"

End of another week...

Well I had a plan... we all do have some... its another thing that some people stick to those plans and some don't.
It was a flawless one... You know how I am best at making plans..;) What I lack in is the implementation part.


I finished the Grey's Anatomy 2nd season... I've become a big fan... can't wait for Preity(my batch-mate) to come back from home...
What is my problem?? Why it happens to me?? I had such fine plot of how to manage days and time and at the end I ended up watching Grey's anatomy for whole Saturday and Sunday ..:(


Enough of whining about my ruined plans...
You know my nephew got married last Saturday... Zebran...his name... so technically I am a mother-in-law now..;P

and we had 'Blood Donation Camp' on 1st of October, my medicine postings are going on so me and Smrati Jain couldn't spend much time there but before any donor could report me and Jain had some fun of our own...:)  

Me on one of our JR(junior resident) table by the way I am not a JR yet..:P.. I am just enjoying sitting there.. but the stethoscope is mine..:P

this is my cute Jain enjoying the scene from corridor of our Blood Bank. Visit to our hospital is worth giving a chance

you know how hardworking I am... despite of being short at time I did my job there...:P

well actually due to air conditioner's moisture the record we keep at blood bank got faded so I was rewriting them.

I don't know may be this was the last time I am in the blood bank as a member... New batch has arrived and we have to leave... I think I had never given importance to what all this means... It was a big platform for me and all my co-members... but we all took it as a burden... now its gone... you value a thing most when its lost...:(

Lets go for new week and new beginning with new 'plan'...;)

:(

Hmmmm....  I had no idea that something would happen like this with me... It might be not a big deal when seen as a third person but when it fell upon me I felt like back stabbed... this is one of my diary entry back dated, it just occurred to me that I can put it down on my blog, well I don't want to put his name in public so I am changing his name by "Pinku"(its not his real name)
 Here it is ... bout of my emotion... "anger+sadness"...

Date-9/9/12; Sunday; 10.30
Dear Pinku, I need to talk to you. A really important lesson of life was being taught to me by you today. "Don't mess with people who play politics if you are not good at that". Thanks a lot!
You are huge, striking with something as huge as you would definitely hit me back, this fact must have been known to me.
I know we are on a row since we came here(saifai) in some way or another (our 'cold war') but after these years of being and pretending to be good to each other made me imagine (I really did imagine because 'thinking' would mean reality in some or another way and everything was fake about that) that somehow that wall of rivalry has fallen down, that the ice was broken by my efforts of hey-don't-get-too-close-or-in-opposite-direction-with-him. But I think, to you what matters is 'YOU'. I am thankful to Lord that I have a sound mind that makes me find a space for word 'you' in my diary of life for you and others and not pre-occupied by 'ME, I, MYSELF'. I actually feel pity on your condition, your sickness and mania of 'self obsession'. I feel pity on "Chinku"(His girlfriend, obviously name changed) too, she is feeding your ego that is finally going to eat you up from within.
It was never and would never be a matter of importance over Dr. Vikas Singh sir, that what I felt and how much my sentiments (which would be presented as my ego in front of sir by you) were hurt, but what matters to me is what Dr. Vikas sir would have been thinking about me.
No doubt I was humiliated the time it happened. Not by you sir by me, myself. The whole bunch was present over there (I won't name them). What I felt humiliated by was my incompetence of not-letting-this-happen. If I would had recognized that 'EGO' would make Pinku stab me this hard, I would have never hurt his 'EGO'.
People might think why its such-a-big deal for me. To that question my answer is, it is! It is important because (it might seem flattery, but that's my pure heart truth) there are few people in my life who are important to me enough that I don't want to be in their list-of-bad-names, Dr. Vikas sir is among those few people.
To Pinku 'you can fool me - once' after then you would have an impermeable wall of high decency which won't let you reach to Zoha again.
From now on I am taking the higher roads, I would respect you, for which you are hungry, don't worry you do what you are good at and I'll do what I am good at
At the end thank you very much for this valued experience of mine!

I don't know what was right to do at that time but this diary entry relieved me a lot. Some of the matter is edited by me cause I don't want to make issue really apparent, this might seem kiddish to some people but I don't care... I am a human and allowed to feel disgusted and thus allowed to express it...
:(....
(this was the worst experience of mine in saifai till now that I mentioned in previous post)

Saifaicon 2012

So its over now...
I am missing being receptionist...:P... Well I was no ordinary receptionist I was dealing with the delegates of JR(junior residents) and SR(senior residents) level and all the private practice holder delegates... my colleagues were introduced with esteemed personalities of AIIMS and MAMC Delhi...
On the other hand they also got to know what our college is...
It was cool, being among such learned and qualified people...

Something like this should occur more frequently because it renovates whole college(which is really required ). It was the best experience of mine in saifai till today... and I have gone through the worst one also...(i'll explain it latter)

The first day was so confusing we had no idea what to do and when to do... And it was all   *+":&*#*   in our brain ... Dr. Vikas Singh sir must have tried to explain us in his way but I think it was not enough... or may be it was for the first time that we were doing something like this...
First registration was a bit tricky (which BTW was done by Nikita Uttam mam :P) and afterwards we understood what is to be done...

Talking about the food.. mmm... yummy like anything... after the whole day standing and asking... "Sir may I know your good name??"... we were invited to the banquet

well this invitation was for delegates, we, volunteers were invited already but I took this a snap for memoir...:P

And the real fun began when Vikas sir said, "this night is for you people"... and then we had so much of fun we danced crazy till 12 am and Vikas sir was with us too... I saw him this much informal for the first time and why forget Dr. Naresh Pal Singh, sir he was dancing with us too... it was the First time I had a feel that I am in a MEDICAL COLLEGE!!!

The next day was pretty easy with all major work done on first day the only new thing was to handover the delegates their certificate. Then last but not the least when the guest faculties were leaving they were appreciating our efforts during the whole conference and of our surgeons... that was cool...

at the end I felt like I have gained a lot from this conference...

I just wish that UP RIMS n R (uttar pradesh rural institute of medical science and research) would host more conferences like this and let us witness more of these kinds of events...

A Gift

I had written this long back but wanted to gift this as a gift to you...
in this month of your birth (of what you are not sure), I'll post this blog as a tribute to you!!

"To pen him down is as difficult as writing a novel.
He is the one I can rely on all my life. When he is around I never feel fear of anything or anyone. I have a strong gut feel that if he is with me I'll never fail and nothing bad is going to happen. He would boost me up if I need, he will comfort me by his short explanation if I am upset. When I lay my head in his lap I find world there and I am a kid again. He laughs on my stupid jokes and makes me laugh by his innocent acts. He makes me aware of my potentials on the same hand makes me aware of this world's reality. He would never let me fall in the wrong hands but on the other hand would never say no to anything. He fulfills or tries to fulfill all my wishes irrespective of their legitimacy. He finds it a lot difficult to say "no" and I also find it similarly. He had let open all the doors for me and still makes it easy for me to come back to him from all the paths. I am best to him irrespective of my success or failure in worldly examinations. for him I am representing the best profile and for me he is representing the best. I know about his flaws and he knows about mine and I hide his n he hides mine. In fact the stage where I stand is not worthy at all to let me find his flaws and I think no philosopher will ever find any contradiction to this fact. I was his part and now he has become mine. May be he don't know what I am going to do and may be I don't know what he is going to, but we don't care. He believes in me without any doubt and I believe in him without any question. He is the only person who cried when I got my pre(cbse pmt) qualified and he is among those few people whom I'll credit when I'll finish my degree (MBBS)
Who is he? Obviusly "PAPA"... You are not I H Khan for me you are my "PAPA"... Love you so much...
This is the bond of blood, the bond of love, the bond of oxytocin"

Saifaicon and Ophtha OT

I'm sorry for this long gap... who am I apologizing???... ha ha ha... is anybody here listening me??

well a lot has been going on in Saifai(the place where i live)... a CME(continued medical education) is about to occur and I am one of the volunteer for more info visit http://www.saifaicon12.org ... well if anybody is reading this actually...:)

thats my college's OPD(out patient department) and emergency block...

You know I never give importance to the fact that I am living in a world that is dream of millions...
During my ophtha(ophthalmology) postings we(me and my batch) visited OT(operation theatre) and observed three cataract operations, its another thing that later on the same day the HOD kicked us out of OT...:P

but I managed to take these snaps!!! 

 this is sushmita when she felt normal (she got faint)

and here I am

Whatever I missed writing for these days ... due to some irresponsible behavior of  mine I could not spare time for writing but I will try to be regular now

what else I think I am out of matter now...

FINALLY OVER

Phew... 1st of july... new month... hey Happy Doctor's Day by the way!!...
Okay about new month... the good news is I am no more "mess in-charge"... and I am relieved....
no more sabzi(vegetables) wala's calling-me-in-the-morning asking me.."mam what sabzi should we send today??" ... no more me-and-Swati calculating how much we should spend so that everything would fit in the budget... and most important and annoying one... no more seniors calling us to scold for "... what is going on in your mess guys...."... it was like a whole year we've been mess in-charges...
.

.
Last week was not totally uneventful.... in fact on Monday I had to go to emergency building(thanks to Mrigank and Sushmita) to get a shot of both  Pantoprazole and Voveron(I hope I am spelling it right)... an then on Tuesday for review in OPD then Dr. Ramakant Rawat sir asked me to have USG (ultrasonography) done... on Wednesday I had that done... and I am completely normal by the way...:)... I have no idea what is going on in classes... except Pharma...cephalosporins...
.

.
Something really made me realize how important friends are in one's life and how caring friends I have in my life... Its was 29th June's evening one of my senior called me and asked me (cause her exams are going on) to bring her some items from market I got the list... cake, snacks, cold drinks, streamers... suddenly i reminded myself its her own b'day... and latter that night, me and some of my friends were there in her room decorating for her birthday...she was preparing for her own B'day party...
I am thank full to Lord that I got friends so dear and caring that I don't have to face what she was facing...
.

.
When all this have ended I personally thanked everyone in my friend circle for always being there when I needed them and I want to thank them again... Akanksha, Arpita, Malvika, Smrati, Smriti, Swati and specially Sushmita...
and
I am, hopefully, going home... may be that will recharge me for the second round...

A Thing of Beauty!!

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever" well said by John Keats...
Really it does. The beauty(joy) I had in past and the beauty(joy) I am searching in future. Those benches with layers of accumulation, they have witnessed the history. The trees with their leaves falling every year have seen growth.
I entered as a shy-innocent-child, my first day in K. V. Sarni.... was a bigger achievement than any in future I am going to have.I still remember the anxiety I had had that day and oh! yes... I threw up on shoma bapchi (who latter became my best friend).
                                     
The first year in K.V. was so long.... longer than any other one. and obviously too much eventfull. When I was saying good bye to my school after my inter I paid no attention on how much K.V. had contributed to my life, my character and of-course my knowledge.
Those days were the real beauty of my life, which I have left far behind. I may regret many-a-things many-a-times but still I would be there in my dreams, because we dream of joy and beauty is the real joy forever, ever and ever...
"It will never end to nothingness"

Lessons to keep!

Sometimes in life you feel stuck in a situation from where there is no passing by, either you handle it or let it handle you...

Life comes with various twists and turns and leaves us with some lessons that are to be taught during life and then we end up learning, the day when we no more belong to this world and we keep our experiences within our tomb...

       

I need a "Break "

I think I can not cope up with the speed with which they are running...

Its Monday and they have started anti-tubercular drugs and now when its Saturday we are on anti-amoebic drugs... how can I cover all this 

I sometime feel like "DHOBI KA KUTTA"..... neither belonging to my own passion nor to the field chosen...

I've got tired of daily waking up and finding myself more sleepy than I was last night... its awful....

and then its pathology class, what worse can be than teacher's asking questions and saying..."this is something you must have studied in the 1st prof.... can't you recall...."

I think i have ruined even my 'common sense'...

The one thing that I have to change in my life style seems to be my 'life style' that's funny but true I am all messed up.....

Some Birthday...

Its hard to decide that now you are capable of getting people...
I think after so many years of being friends and making friends I am still a beginner..
How can one judge that a person is not friend of yours because he finds a friend in you but because he has some selfish motives...
It was my birthday yesterday and i must say God made me realise that one of my friend is calling me a friend because he wants to be friends with someone else(who is by the way my friend)...
He asked her, "I have sent her(me) a birthday message should I call her too??"....
Ph-lease I have got enough friends to celebrate my birthday with... I am not disclosing his name because its not gonna help anyways... but I am hurt...
At the end I was like, "why I am ruining my day??"... and despite it was raining I went out with my real friends and had fun!!...
I just wish that I could keep my eyes open now onward so that I can see whom I am choosing as my friend....

Mine First!

So its a new start... I think I've lost that writing-reading power.....
lets start with today....
Today I had roza..(my back logs) i woke up in the morning, prepared sehari, had it, took a bath, went for a walk with swati, sushmita  and gupta, came back an got ready for the class, bang.... there was no one to teach us... what the hell.... I had a sore throat since  Saturday its getting worse and worse....
I am such a bore man...........
You know I had never felt this way before, "ME" writing still nothing to write...
I am not happy with this change within me
huh..... lets see where it goes... may be i would get a new kick with this beginning...