Monday, 1 October 2018

I dare not ask...

We are poles apart,
Then how did we stumble upon each other?
Was it fate?
Serendipity I reckon.
Is there a spark?
I feel it firmly... Do you?
We fell together into this,
Or it was me first and then you?
Or it was the other way around?
Or it's me flying solo from the very beginning?
The answers are something I'll never have
Because I dare not ask the questions...
I can't...
And so can't you...

Oh! The sting, the pain,
But it's good to know, you feel the pain.
Maybe it tells you, 'you are alive!'
Never have I ever felt the hue so bright,
And seen the warmth more warm,
Or heard a pang so tender,
Such is the taste of togetherness in distance...
My senses are topsy and turvy.
My world is jumbled-up-bundle of emotions and musings now,
They lighten me up.
Do you get those vibes too?
But sure its hard to say when you show up,
You give away nothing,
Always have been better at concealment,
Or there is nothing to conceal?
But how would I know it?
Because I dare not ask the questions...
I can't...
And so can't you...

Time and miles have been our enemies,
But it would heal wounds of mine.
Irony it is that I don't want them healed.
I don't want to loose what I have gained.
Let them be my scar...
Yes my dear, this pain...
Scanty parley of ours,
Lure me, confuse me, bluff me, I know...
Is it a conscious act of yours?
Or you are wounded in the same way too?
But you won't give away would you?
In a Utopia,
If I would dare,
If you would dare,
Would it be quintessential?
Or it would be disastrous?
But how could you tell me that?
Because I dare not ask the questions...
I can't...
And so can't you...

I want to listen what you utter,
Still all I decipher is cipher.
Maybe what I seek ain't there...
I wish to laugh at your jests,
But I don't get the humour.
I keep wondering what I would say,
When you would say this.
And keep wondering how would I mock you,
When you would say that.
I keep wondering, wondering and wondering.
But you never say 'them'
Maybe you shouldn't, to think this, hurts.
Or maybe you don't want to,
This one hurts even more...
All I'm aware of is I want all those things...
Although we are poles apart
But by a fluke, I still am moved by you
So I don't want it to be straightened up.
Let me be lured, confused, bluffed...

So I'll never ask...
And you dare not too...

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more...

Sometimes you seem like an illusion that my brain has designed, unreal, imaginary… how can I like someone this much, without never ever prop...